Feeling like you just can’t get turned on lately? Wondering why you’re just not interested in the sexy things you usually like? No matter what is going in your life – or your body – your sex drive will fluctuate over your lifetime. It’s perfectly normal! Think back to those teenage years, when hormones were flooding your body and nearly everything was about sex. We may not get back to those days, but we can better understand some of the most common reasons our libidos dip – and how to get them back to where we want.
Stress is one of the most common libido killers. When you have lots on your mind – say, maybe a global pandemic – it’s difficult for your brain and body to be in the mood for sex. Relaxing in any way is difficult when you’re in a high-stress situation, and that continues through for sex. Getting through this can be frustrating, but it means finding ways to banish stress from your life – through mindfulness, yoga, or even therapy.
Medication is another well-known libido killer. Anti-depressants in particular can crash your sex drive into the ground. But hope is not lost! First, there are complementary medications you can explore with your doctor to help balance this out. Second, you can and should take time to figure out what kind of sex awakens a desire in you. Maybe that means leaning more into a fetish or kink, going slow where you used to go fast or just keeping things PG-13 for the time being. Not all sex has to be penetrative and lead to orgasm – sometimes, feeling intimate is enough.
Age is yet another reason your sex drive may be changing, and this one is pretty inevitable. Throughout our lives, we all go through dips in desire and there may be no other explanation than “this is how it is right now.”
What can you do if you’re dealing with a low sex drive? You don’t have to give up all together! If you still want to want sex, there are options. Increased exercise can lower stress and get endorphins pumping, two major barriers to being turned on. Talking with your partner(s) about what kind of sex you need – more foreplay, a more romantic setting – can also help. If you’re still struggling, getting a check-up with your family physician is also important to rule out any underlying issues like thyroid or vitamin deficiencies.
It’s also totally okay to go through phases with low libido where you’re not interested in getting it on! Be honest with your partner(s), but otherwise, live your life the way you want. That raging desire to get it on may just reappear when you least expect it.
When you’re back to your horny self, or if you’re looking to try something new to get your libido running again, download The PRSNLS to sign up and get down!