Three’s Company: Navigating Threesomes

Did you know threesomes are one of the top fantasies for both men and women? Who knew getting it on in groups would be so popular! If you’re one of the thousands of people disappearing into a fantasy of you and two other people getting it on, read ahead and learn more about turning this fantasy into a reality.

We’re looking at this purely from a sexual experience stance – for some, threesomes may have more to do with their polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships, their BDSM power structure, or they just prefer to do it with lots of people at once. We’ll cover all these in later blogs! These are just some tips to keep in mind when you start actively planning a threesome.

Communication
Like any sexual experience, communication is KEY. This means talking outside the bedroom about expectations, limits and desires before getting between the sheets. If you’re bringing a third person to your marital bed, for instance, you have to be clear with your partner what will make you feel good about having someone else involved – and what will make you feel bad. This is also the point where you’re sussing out if your partners will be a good fit for you and are into the idea of a threesome.

Honesty
You know those awkward moments when you’re having sex, and you can tell the person you’re with wants something but isn’t saying it? Or they seem uncomfortable? Everyone involved needs to get comfortable speaking up and being honest. “Hey, I’m feeling a little left out here!” might be hard to say, but it’s important. Honesty happens before, during and after the actual threesome.

Safety
Everyone involved should be tested first to make sure they are clear of STIs, and protection should also be used against STIs and pregnancy. Sex with three people can get a little awkward… imagine raising a baby together! (unless that’s something you want).

Manage your expectations
If this is your first time having a threesome, you may think – from all the stories, the porn, or the movies you’ve seen – that it will be effortlessly hot, everyone will be pleased and nothing will go wrong. Hopefully that’s how it goes, but adding an extra person into the fold means more emotions like jealousy. This is being honest and communicating are such big deals! Take it slow and keep reminding yourself this is real life, not scripted porn – things may go wrong, and feelings may be hurt. Process that together and alone.

Check-in afterwards
This is a type of communication, but it’s pretty crucial to have a pointed conversation after doing the deed. Talk about how you feel, what went well, what could have been done differently – and then you can decide if another threesome is on the table!

Now you’ve got the basics of navigating a threesome down – so sign up for The PRSNLS and get down! You can use post tags specifically to search for people interested in threesomes, and you can filter by men, women, nonbinary folks – or all. It’s less swiping, and it’s way more interesting.

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