Some people may assume that asking for consent, whether over digital messages or in person, is ‘unsexy’ and ruins the mood. But it’s the exact opposite! Consent doesn’t mean stopping everything and asking “do you consent to this?” It’s an ongoing conversation between all sides – and oh boy, it can get really sexy.
Asking “do you like it when I touch you there?” or “tell me how much you want it” is a super hot way to make sure the person you’re with is 100% on board with what’s happening. Another option is to ask your partner to show or tell you what they want, which creates a sexy show-and-tell all intertwined into consent.
Of course, the basis of consent is communication. The most important thing before, during and after any kind of hookup is communication. That’s not to say you have to have deep talks about your feelings; you can still communicate thoroughly even during a one-night stand!
If you’ve met your hookup partner through a dating app, you already have the perfect communication tool at your fingertips. Take some time to chat before meeting for a hookup; learn each other’s likes and dislikes, hard limits, and things you’re both willing to try.
In person, you can take a moment during a non-sexual setting to discuss boundaries and all the things you each like to do between the sheets (or anywhere else). Communication means you’re not assuming anything about what your partner likes or wants – and opens the door to ongoing consent conversations.
Want to try something new and exciting? Talk about it! Leaping into any type of rougher play, like impact or breath play, is not safe. Learning and talking with the person you want to experiment with is the only way to make sure you’re both comfortable, safe, and satisfied by the experience.
The flip side of communication and consent is learning how to take ‘no’ for an answer. First, get comfortable saying no; you never have to do anything in a sexual encounter you don’t want to do. Second, get comfortable hearing no! Everyone has the right to say no, and guilting someone out of saying no is never okay.
Consent and communication always come first. Our PRSNLS promise is that if you experience someone not respecting your ‘no’ on the app, they will be removed from our community. The only good sex is safe and consensual!
Try your communication skills out on The PRSNLS app – get chatting with someone and, when you’re both ready, tell them what you want – what you really, really want!